I am three days past my due date. This entire month of August has been pretty ruff, not physically but mentally. We are so ready for our son to arrive! Our due date has changed a couple of times so nearly the entire month of August has felt like a waiting game. My patience has been tested. I am not a patient person I suppose. No one really prepares you for this part of the pregnancy. Or at least I wasn’t prepared for this. My husband describes it as waking up every morning wondering if today is your birthday, and then finding out that it isn’t, it’s just another day.
Everyone tells me to take this opportunity to relax, rest while I can, sleep while I can, go on as many dates as we can, enjoy this time while we can. We are doing these things, trying to keep ourselves occupied, but it’s hard to not constantly be wondering when I will go into labor, or if I will have to be induced, which will be next Monday or Tuesday. We are hoping to avoid that, but he can’t stay in there much longer, otherwise it may put him at risk.
With all that said, I read something yesterday about trusting God. It was perfect timing, because that can be hard for me sometimes. I want to always trust God, but sometimes it is hard to COMPLETELY let go, to have no worries or fears. “We cling to old ways because change frightens us. Though you feel safest when your life is predictable and things seem to be under control, God wants you to break free and discover the adventures He has planned for you. The greatest adventure of all is discovering how wide and long and high and deep Gods love is for you. Only God’s love is strong enough to break the hold that fear has on you. A predictable lifestyle may feel safer, but it can shield you from what you need most of all –God. When unexpected events shake up your routines, rejoice. This is exactly what you need to wake you up and point you toward God. God will be with you each step of the way. And as you venture out together with God, cling tightly to His hand. The more you abandon yourself to God, the more exuberantly you can experience His love.” ~Jesus Lives
This is part of my problem with waiting for this baby to arrive. I’m used to my predictable life. I find comfort in it. So I think I am having trouble letting go and trusting God that our son will arrive not the way I want him to, but the way God has planned for him to all along. I no longer want to find comfort and security in worldly things, or a predictable life. I want to abandon myself completely to God, I want a life full of adventures. I want to live a full life, and not be tied down by fear.
Here are a few photos I took of myself when I was about 37 weeks. I connected my camera to an app on my phone, so you can kinda see where I was holding the phone is some 🙂 But that’s what I get for not scheduling a session with another professional photographer.